Chapter 7 pt 2

As the evening progressed, Shanelle's nerves stretched taunt. She was beginning to regret her decision of coming along. From grating laughter to gossipping remarks, she held her tongue and smiled for the sake of her friend.

Maria started talking about a new boy that just joined their 8th period class, and Jasmine mistakenly nudged Shanelle in a haze of her joyous mood. "Isn't he cute Nelle?" She laughed.

Unable to stop herself, Shanelle's eyes cut into Jasmine with such disdain, Jasmine quickly changed the subject.

The only relief that came was when they all sat down to watch the movie Maria's mom rented. That was until Denise initiated a gun fight fueled with popcorn ammunition.

Excusing herself, Shanelle left the living room filled with rough housing and retreated to the bathroom. Running her hands through the sink's water, she pressed the moisture of them against her face. It was quiet. Peaceful.

Then, like the calm before a storm, her thoughts came barging in like a tornado.

June's last conversation came to mind along with the realization that she was fighting the clock. Why did they have to leave? Why now? She could imagine the damaging blow it would bring to what remained of her and Jasmine's friendship to hear that Shanelle was put in charge.

Feeling the weight of unearned rejection, Shanelle leaned over the sink and fought to push down the familiar ball of anxiety. Everything was spiraling out of control. Despair raged inside of her with such violence, her heart grew heavy.

After the previous year, nothing had been the same. Not Shanelle's friendship with Jasmine, not her love for school... Not even how she viewed the Johnson's.

Before, she yearned their acceptance. Now? She understood that she'd never belong. Though she loved June dearly, and the two shared a unique bond, surprisingly enough? All Shanelle wanted was Vanessa... Not an expectation. Not an image of what used to be... Just her mother: alive and well. That was all she desired... and all she was beginning to cared about.

Grief overwhelmed Shanelle in a way that was unfathomable. She sank down. Honey and Mila were out there somewhere... Every day, Shanelle prayed it was somewhere safe... praying they hadn't been separated.

The pain... Oh how it suffocated her. Darkness washed over Shanelle. She'd been going to church with the Johnson's... And no one saw her. No one heard. The sermons didn't hit home the way they used to. Ever since the disagreement... It were almost as if her eyes had been opened. God was like a fairytale: something that sounded good, yet a reality no one had ever truly attained. Everybody around her seemed to wear a mask, a cloak of ingenuity that made Shanelle want to scream and slit her own throat. She dreamt it at times... Desired it. To be engulfed in death. However, the "uncertain unknown" haunted her... As well as the possibility that God just might be real... And out there waiting. And all she had to do was hold on.

Glancing up at the shelf next to the sink, Shanelle spotted a bottle of prescribed muscle relaxers.

All she had to do was take it. The whole thing. An image flashed in Shanelle's mind of her last encounter with James, his words echoing in her ear.

"Wanna know what happened to ya mama?"

"Ya trifling Mama?"

"She in the hospital, dying as we speak."

"As we speak."

"DYING."

"BECAUSE OF YOU."

Body trembling, Shanelle shook, rocking back and forth. Her soul ached.

"As we speak."

If she took the bottle, it would be over. All the pain... The fear.

But would it?

For some reason the eternal drawing within her cried against her will, bidding her not to do it.

Breathing in deeply, she exhaled and stood. Acting before she could change her mind, she opened the door... And left.

Entering the hallway, Shanelle paused at the end upon hearing whispers.

"Girl, did you see how Michael was looking at Shanelle? Shanelle? Of all people."

It was Denise.

"No, I think he was just glad to see her... Like he was all of us." Jasmine responded half heartedly.

"You said yourself they were sitting right across from each other and he was touching her face! She knows you love him Jas! That's not right." Maria chimed in.

"No, I don't think it was like that... Nelle doesn't like Michael. She doesn't like anyone actually. She doesn't really talk much nowadays now that I think about it..." Jasmine searched desperately for an out.

It pained Shanelle to hear how hard it was for Jasmine to take up for her. She didn't blame her... She hadn't been the most agreeable soul to get along with.

"Just stop, Jas. Stop!" Denise demanded.

"Shhhh! She'll hear you," Maria giggled.

"You're covering for her, and you know it. My thing is... She can pretend she's not trying to sabotage you-" Denise started.

"Which she is." Maria coincided.

"But... More than that, it's not even Shanelle you should be worried about. Michael's definitely falling in love with her, and unless you choose to open your eyes and look around, she's gonna steal him from you."

"Mhm."

There was a tense pause.

Jasmine's next words shocked Shanelle.

"What... What if Mike was never mine to begin with?"

Wait what? What did that mean?

"Girl, that's what she wants you to think! You're prettier, smarter, and the better choice, so of course Michael would have chosen you. You gotta get him back." Maria insisted.

"H-... How?" Jasmine asked, sounding hopeless.

Turning away, Shanelle went back to the bathroom to close the door again. She didn't want to give them the opportunity to fuel Jasmine with wicked ideas... She had enough on her plate to deal with and didn't have time for a jealous friend-enemy.

Closing the door hard, Shanelle gathered herself. Her heart continued to break, because she loved Jasmine dearly. She didn't mean anything malicious concerning Michael, and all she wanted to do was show her that he belonged to her.

Michael wasn't anyone's to take... And Shanelle would uphold Jasmine in her fantasy, even if it was a bit altered.

Appearing casual, she entered the living room.

---

Maria greeted her with a forced smile, Denise leaving to get more "popcorn".

Jasmine avoided her eyes altogether.

"Hey y'all. Sorry I took so long. What happened in the movie?" Shanelle picked up her soda and made herself drink. She stuck out like a sore thumb and knew it. Pretending made it worse.

Maria responded, though Shanelle wasn't the least bit intrigued.

After the movie was over, and the games ended, it neared 12, and the girls moved to the den where they'd be sleeping for the night.

Unbothered, Maria's parents were snoring in the bedroom down the hall.

The den had hard wood floors, a thick, plush, burgundy area rug, a black leather couch, and a matching loveseat. Pictures hung on one of the walls in the fashion of a tree, and a television stationed to the left, adjacent from a large window, sitting on top of a blue entertainment center.

Everyone, except Shanelle, jumped to the couch to claim a spot, arguing and laughing, all fighting for the largest sleeping area.

"Wait wait wait!" Maria yelled, hooting in between. She was sprayed across Jasmine's back, Jasmine, who was giggling while her face remained buried in a cushion.

"Okay now, so two of us can take the big couch. One-" she pointed to the love seat "can take that. But... Someone has to take the carpet."

Almost instinctively, the room quieted... The laughter died. Maria, Denise... And Jasmine... All looked at Shanelle.

"I claim the love seat." Denise jumped up and strode to her place.

Jasmine remained silent.

Swallowing the hurt, Shanelle politely asked for a blanket and took her place on the rug. It seemed almost second nature to assume her spot was the floor. Maybe... just maybe... she'd made the wrong decision in the bathroom after all.

Deep into the night, Shanelle lay wide awake in a world where she didn't belong. And... so did Jasmine. Maria and Denise snored loudly, competing with any intrusive thoughts Shanelle could have possibly had. Jasmine, however... Remained haunted.

"Nelle..." She whispered. "Nelle, you awake?"

Shanelle remained still, intentionally ignoring her.

After a long moment of snores, Shanelle was sure Jasmine had fallen asleep.

To her surprise, Jasmine spoke again.

"They sound like horses..."

A few moments passed before Shanelle was unable to contain herself. Struggling to keep down her laugh, she snorted loudly.

Jasmine snickered in the darkness. "Now you sound just like them."

Quieting down, Shanelle controlled her breathing, her heart feeling a bit lighter. Suddenly, there was so much she wanted to say to Jasmine. She didn't want her to think she was trying to sabotage her for Michael's sake. Nonetheless, she held her peace. If any persuasion was going to happen, she needed to do it in action. As soon as she had the chance, she was going to speak to Michael. Surely he could convince Jasmine.

Closing her eyes, Shanelle found herself dozing, but before she did, she heard Jasmine's voice faintly whisper... "You should have gotten the couch."

The next morning, both Shanelle and Jasmine were in a lighter mood, Maria's mom fixing breakfast and offering to take them all skating. To everyone's surprise, Shanelle declined, asking instead to be taken home on account of an "upset stomach".

"You sure Nelle?" Jasmine asked, concerned.

"She's fine, Jas, let her rest and feel better." Denise urged with painful politeness, insistently holding on to her unmasked grudge.

Reluctant, Maria's mom agreed to take her back to the Johnson's on their way to the rink.

Once Shanelle got dropped off,watching them drive away, it felt as if a weight that had been on her chest had finally lifted.

Laughing without restraint, she shook her head messily, afro bounding against her shoulders, and set in mind her next task. Not even going inside, Shanelle dropped her bag by the front door and started to jog. Boy, it felt good to run again. Graduating to a full on sprint, Shanelle let her legs eat up the stretch of the sidewalk.

Her fro blew wildly in the cold autumn breeze. Lungs burning, Shanelle turned a corner and headed east toward 4th avenue. She had well over a mile before arriving to the Matthews' home, but she was up for the challenge.

Passing by the houses of classmates, Shanelle pumped furiously, uninterested in catching up. She had one mission.

Pushing her body further, sweat poured down her face and back, calves burning.

The wind gave her energy, pushing her on, bushes and shrubs cheering her on with frantic hands.

Shanelle had such tunnel vision, she didn't even notice the grey Chevy that slowed down to get a closer look at her. Neither did she notice who was driving. Had that been the case, she would have been alarmed, realizing it was the big burly football player Jasmine challenged in the lunch line at school... But she didn't. Has she noticed, she would have ran to a well populated place... Or indeed stopped at the house of a fellow classmate. But she didn't. Instead, she took a shortcut down a hidden road, nearing the side of the Matthews' property.

---

The road itself was so beaten and grown over, it was hardly drivable. Branches and limbs cascaded over it's entrance, surrounded by wild grass and vacant land. Trees grew in abundance.

Slowing down to a halt, Shanelle placed heavy hands on top of her head, heart beating like a wild stallion. Just beyond the road was an acre of the Matthews' property. Taking in the sight, sun beaming down from a crisp blue, the slamming of a car door caused her to nearly jump out of her skin.

Turning abruptly, Shanelle backed up when she saw the jock striding towards her.

"What's up Pissy... Saw you down the street. Had to stop by and say hey." He wore a thick, navy blue sweat shirt, grey joggers, and dirty white sneakers. His face showed menace and ill will.

Backing up into a bush, Shanelle trembled.

"What, what you want? I ain't bothering you."

Grabbing the collar of her sweater, it tore has he yanked her towards him.

"Ion care about who you're bothering... See I got an issue." He growled, seething in her ear. "Your brave friend called me 'rotund'... I didn't like that very much. Now you're gonna make up for it..."

Fear grappling her belly, Shanelle tried to pull away, only infuriating him more.

Slamming her with his elbow against a tree, her head struck it's base hard, cutting her forehead. Gasping sharply as she fell to the ground, she screamed out. Covering her mouth with a rough hand, he slapped her.

Eyes wide with fear, Shanelle panicked as he ripped her sweater in half, it hanging in shreds at her arms. T- shirt and bra strap exposed, they struggled, stumbling into the brush along the hidden road, falling onto the Matthews' property. Shifting his body weight on top of her, he squeezed his hand over her mouth and nose until she couldn't breathe.

Sinking her teeth into his hand, Shanelle bit down as hard as she could. Yelling in pain, his grasp slipped. Shanelle broke free with a deep gasp, fighting with every ounce of strength she had. Kicking his face as he grappled at her ankles, she staggered to her knees and ran.

Having been a trained athlete since birth, the jock jumped to his feet, easily catching up, tackling her to the ground. Shanelle released a sharp cry of pain, screaming desperately.

Punching her, he covered her mouth once more, free hand wrestling with her pants. Tears coursed down Shanelle's cheeks as the memory of a similar narrative replayed in her mind. She was certain there was no escaping this.

A haze of hurried footsteps sounded in dried leaves ahead of them, and all at once, the jock was knocked down.

Michael dove on top of the football player. He began to pound furiously with both fists. In a hasty turn of events, the jock kicked Michael back, rolled to his feet, and openly challenged his opponent. Evenly matched in physique and strength, Michael observed, gaze acute and aware... Blood boiling.

Taking two jabs at Michael, the athlete did a quick sweep with his foot, a sweep Michael expertly avoided.

Air shuffling, Michael dodged two swings, taking an opening for two heavy landing punches. Staggering from the blows, the boy, attempting to salvage his pride, ran towards him with everything he had.

Losing his temper had proven a mistake, as Michael dodged him with ease, landing a brutal punch to the side of the boy's head, quickly ending the match.

Spitting out a mixture of blood and saliva, the boy's eyes rolled before fully collapsing onto the grass.

Fists clenched, Michael huffed as he turned.

"Wait... Shanelle?! Is that you?"

Kicking herself to her feet, Shanelle impulsively stumbled in attempts to run.

Her body was beyond exhausted and Michael caught up to her. Seeing her stagger, he sped ahead before she collapsed into his arms, blood gushing from her wound, face beginning to swell from the hits.

Lowered himself to the ground, he wrapped firm arms around her until she had no more energy left to struggle. Shanelle let out a gut wrenching scream, one that poured like salt on an open wound. She had the liberty, for no one else was around or home to hear.

Then Shanelle began to cry... A deep heaving cry that rattled her core, pulling Michael right along with her. Tears escaped his eyes as he pulled her closed and rocked.

"I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..."he wept, though he wasn't sure what all he was apologizing for.

For the next 30 minutes, Shanelle cried. A long silence followed, along with the deafening noise of wilderness.

After a while, when Shanelle seemed calm enough to guide, Michael gently ushered her to her feet.

"C'mon... Let's get you cleaned up. And call the police..."

"No!" She yelled, her eyes widening in alarm.

"What do you mean? He almost killed you, Nelle we gotta call..."

"Please... No more police..."

Searching her eyes, Michael quieted. Reluctant, he nodded.