Chapter 9 pt 1

Shanelle stared up at the sky, remembering with grief the memories that pierced her heart. All hope had been squeezed out of her since what happened with James... Until now. The thought confused her, scrambling everything she used to think was true. Tonight had changed her life, and she knew nothing would be as it was. What she couldn't seem to grasp was the after... what now?

Michael sat disquieted, eyes mirroring grief and rage. Was he truly concerned for her? Moved, Shanelle grew choked with emotion. Squeezing his hands, she wanted desperately to believe in him, to hope in what was being offered... but could she?

Letting go, she slid until her back was against the wall of the vehicle.

"Do you think I can come to H.I.E.T and... be like ya'll?" she asked.

Michael smirked. "Like us?"

"Yeah, you know. Ya'll with the gardening and everything. Working, and the hospital. Its so... 1800's but for today."

"Not 1800's," He laughed. "We have a system that gives so much, but is designed to pour right back into the ministry. People need jobs: we need the services those jobs offer."

Shanelle squinted her eyes in an interrogative manner. "Ion know man... that sounds like them people in the isolated town with that church. They was a cult."

"What? First off, you're dead wrong" he motioned aggressively with a hand. Shanelle smiled. She could tell he held back a grin. "Second of all, we're not cut off from the rest of the world, in fact, we got at least 200 establishments that have been planted in different states all over the country, restaurants, clinics, community centers, markets. The H.I.E.T ministries we went to tonight were just head quarters... we launch people out to grow the support of the Christian community, whether its in Alabama, or Hawaii. Even here, our gardens don't just support the ministry, we give to the food banks of the city, and the local stores pay us to get what we have."

It impressed Shanelle to see how passionate he was.

"My bad, my bad... set me straight won't you."

Michael glared. "Call it what you want. The people at H.I.E.T helped me and my family when we had no where safe to go. John's not perfect, but he's trying to carry the load all of us believers should have been carrying long before he started."

Looking down at the floor of the truck, Shanelle nodded solemnly. A couple cars zoomed by, the water splashing gently from a distance.

"All I know is..." she raised her eyebrows with little to no expression.... "I better not see you on the news laying next to hundreds of bodies cuz ya'll drank bleach."

Flabbergasted, Michael looked at Shanelle. Meeting his gaze in a cool challenge, their eyes locked. Waiting for a reprimanding response, she received none... He laughed.

"I can't be serious talking to you," he shook his head.

Smiling faintly, Shanelle got off of the crate, moved it over, and adjusted the cushions to lay on her back. With all of the victims of the Jamestown massacre, Shanelle wondered how normal people could find themselves in such a horrible situation.... seeing redemption masked as deceit and not being able to sense the evil... What if everything felt new and... Light? What if those people just wanted to start over, and were gullible for believing? How could one know what the red flags were? Why, then, hope at all...?

The sky had darkened completely, revealing a multitude of stars. Taking a deep breath, she pointed a finger and tried to follow the constellations.

Staring down at her, Michael's face held an undecipherable expression. Glancing at him, Shanelle frowned. "What?"

Smiling softly, he peered down.

"You're different."

His tone was tender. Shanelle frowned.

"It ain't so good to be different."

"God made us different Nelle. You just don't fight it."

They both looked back up into the sky. The silence stretched for a while. Shanelle could have laid there forever. Soaking up the night, she breathed deeply.

"It's almost 30 minutes. Lemme take you home."

Feeling the bite of the cool breeze as it steadily turned into wind, Shanelle lingered in mind. "5 more minutes?"

Michael frowned. "Nah! You accused me of kidnapping and assaulting you, I'm taking your behind home."

"I ain't say that." She giggled.

"Your face said it!"

She laughed even harder.

Michael sighed. "Whatever you want, that's what we'll do."

---

It was in that moment... That very moment where a mask fell off. The affectionate tone, the genuine passion in his eyes... Shanelle knew then that she, of all people, had the ability to cut him deeper than even his mother could.

Heart severing, Shanelle sat up.

"Mike?"

"What's up?"

"Life is gonna be so good to you. I don't know about all the having a purpose thing, but for you to still be here, a plan must exist... least for you."

Puzzled, he searched her face. His eyes were serious: jaw firmly set.

"And for you," He responded. "You'll be successful, travelling, telling people about your story... married... with a man God made just for you. Sometime in the future. Doing what you never dreamed you could."

Snorting, Shanelle straightened as she sat up. Michael hopped down from the truck, available to assist in her dismount.

"Why'd you do that?" He held his hands out to her.

Scooting towards the edge, she dangled her feet, looking him squarely in the face.

"There's no one out there for me Michael. And not everyone is lucky enough to be successful."

"Success doesn't come by luck Shanelle. It finds those who are looking for it, fightin' for it. You don't think you'll be married?"

"I'm broken... No man can put those pieces back together."

She jumped down, his arms beneath hers for support. Face to face, Shanelle looked up into his dark eyes. She could smell his scent. "Please don't try to fix me."

A colder wind blew, piercing through the thin shirt Shanelle wore. She shivered, teeth chattering, holding her steady gaze. Michael pulled a jacket from the backseat and draped it around her shoulders. He placed a gentle hand over the bruise that still showed on her neck.

Flinching, Shanelle pulled back, unsure of the touch. His hand wasn't rough or teasing... more like a puzzle piece that fit. Feeling towards the back of her head, he pulled her forward, leaning his own down until their foreheads touched. Breaths syncretized in puffs of warmth in the air, Shanelle felt... Safe. Not speaking, not running, but just... Being. What was this?

"I'll take you home. June's probably worried bout you." Michael spoke with no conviction, torn at the mention of leaving.

Nodding, Shanelle stepped aside, his touch lingering even after she backed away.

When Michael pulled up in front of the Johnson's house, Shanelle quickly got out, not wanting to weaken. Why did she tremble so?

Rolling down the window, Michael threw his hands up. "Dang! No goodbye? I at least gonna see you Monday?"

"At church? Yeah."

"You think you'll need a ride?"

Shanelle paused before knocking on the door. "Nah.. I'm straight. But thanks.... Oh!" She turned abruptly. Jasmine!

Jogging back to the car, she leaned against the open window. "Listen, I gotta favor to ask."

"Yeah, what's up?"

"You mind talkin' to Jasmine when you get a chance? She thinks I... She thinks that you... Ion know. What she thinks ain't right."

"What am I supposed to do how she thinks?"

"I don't know, just tell her the truth!" She threw her hands up.

"That.....?"

Glaring at him, Shanelle sucked her teeth. "She got a crush on you fool. She think I'm comin' onto you, and her friends keep sayin' stuff to make her think it."

"This is childish Nelle. I can't help what they say! And if you don't like me, you shouldn't feel like you gotta defend it. If it's true, it's true. Why do you care about what they think anyway?"

"Cuz Jasmine's my best friend. If she likes you so be it. And if you could... I dunno'... Flirt back to convince her? Whatever man, just help me out."

Michael stared in disbelief. "I can't manipulate her Nelle, that's wrong... And I won't lie. I care for Jas like I would a sister... I don't believe she's my wife. I don't even think she believes I'm her husband. Just a childish faze..."

For some reason his words cut Shanelle. She didn't even want to know what he thought of her with an opinion so stern. Maybe he was right. But how could he know what was to come in the future? Clearly, he had no idea how determined her best friend was.

Glancing down, she contemplated her options. would his response destroy whatever was left of her friendship with Jasmine?

Turning away in her whirlwind of thoughts, Michael called to her in a huff of frustration. "Fine! I'll tell her you don't like me and how clear you showed me you don't. I got no idea how Ima bring it up... I ain't promising no dates, no love notes, no hand holding or nothing... Just the truth. It is the truth ain't it? You don't like me.... Right?" He stared at her.

Shaking her head, Shanelle smiled. "Nah... I already told you ain't nobody for me."

Frowning slightly, he hesitated. "I got you Nelle."

"Thanks...." Shanelle sighed in relief.

Nodding respectfully, Michael waited until she was in the house before pulling off.

Heart feeling tremendously full, Shanelle clutched her chest.

Upon entering, she jumped in alarm, June standing at the door with Chino.

"Where you been Girl?"

Chino rubbed the back of his neck. "Maria's Ma called to tell us she dropped you off early this morning... Shanelle where were you?" He demanded.

"And what's this on ya face? Is that a bruise? Girl where you been?" June turned about her in alarm.

Afraid of the manner in which they addressed her, Shanelle stammered, telling June everything. From the sleepover experience with Maria, Jasmine and Denise, to the football player, Michael's intervention... And then H. I. E. T. Her stomach curled in knots of dread. Tears threatened to surface. They'd never spoken to her this way before. Surely they would put her out.. Where would she go? Returning home wasn't an option.

Chino glanced at his wife in contemplation, a silent transaction going on.

"Who's this football player?" He asked.

"I... Dunno. He's a senior and we don't got no classes together. Jasmine snapped on him in front of his friends to take up for me. He got mad."

"We gon call the police, find that ball player's parents, and we gon deal with this foolishness." June got some makeup wipes to clean Shanelle's face, pointing her finger as she talked.

"No, Mrs. Johnson, please don't! I don't want to call no police."

"What you mean girl? If we don't call now, that boy is gon wind up being a rapist and a murderer. I ain't asking you."

"Yeah, Nah Shanelle. We don't play that over here. You could have been killed. I thank Michael for helping you and all, but as soon as he found you, he should have called us."

"He didn't know Mr Johnson, he wanted to call the police but I told him not to."

"And he listened to you? Ain't this boy grown now?"

June remained silent, casting Chino a silencing look.

"He... He, he's 17 I think. He doesn't know about why I'm staying with y'all, please don't be mad at him-"

"Shanelle, as close to legal as he is, either him or his parents should have contacted us... June and I are upset because anything could have happened to you, and it would have been on us, the fault would've been ours!"

At the raise of Chino's voice, Shanelle's eyes watered. Jasmine crept steadily down the stairs, peeking from beyond the wall, concerned.

Suddenly, Shanelle wished to be anywhere but where she was.

"Chino, calm down, the important thing is she's here now."

"No, June, we can't ignore her not being held accountable to anyone! What would have happened had she been killed?"

"You wouldn't have another mouth to feed..." Shanelle answered in a hushed voice.

"What?"

"I hear what you saying through your words."

"Excuse me?"

Shanelle tremored in fear. " N.... Nothing. I apologize... for not comin' home. And not thinkin' of what y'all gotta deal with."

A hush fell over the room.

Chino's face reddened, unsure of how to respond. June's eyes were downcast. Jasmine stood, arms crossed, squeezing her sides. The drop of a pin could be heard.

"Can I go to bed?" Shanelle asked without making any eye contact.

Nodding, June smiled painfully, trying to cover an open wound with balm. Unfortunately, the damage was already done.

Going up the stairs, she passed Jasmine silently, as if she were invisible.