Chapter 5 (pt 1)

Shanelle had spent the night at the Johnson's plenty of times before, but living with them was so strange. It was too easy! It almost felt as if something were missing. The only person she had to look after was herself.

Outside of the household chores, the girls just went to school. Although Jasmine was relieved of her laundry duties, Shanelle made it a point to be there whenever Vanessa washed clothes. She as excited about it and wanted to know how to operate the machine. Vanessa was more than willing to teach. For the first time in her life, she didn't have to scrub anything out by hand.

Having been lent clothes aside from her uniform, Shanelle remained unbothered and found no reason to complain. She was clean, kept, ate every night and now looked forward to dinner, not having to dread the idea of stealing, and could care less about having to eat what was cooked the night before.

Shanelle no longer woke up with bites all over her body. It all seemed unreal, like a fantastic dream she didn't have to wake up from.

At night, her spot to sleep in became a trundle that rolled out from under Jasmine's bed. June constantly apologized for having her sleep so low to the ground, even when Shanelle insisted it was fine. She couldn't imagine why anyone would say sorry for something as convenient as a trundle. Anything beat sleeping on bare, Stinky, stain filled carpet.

Nonetheless, despite the good food, clean clothes, and sturdy bed, Shanelle still found herself lying awake at night for hours before actually going to sleep. She couldn't help but wonder if Mila and Honey were okay, and if her mom still remembered how to take care of them... Of herself. She hoped that James wouldn't come back. She hoped everything was... Okay.

June said her mama wanted her to be with them for the rest of the school year, and that Shanelle didn't need to ever visit the house until that time was up. But oh, how it bothered her! How could she not go check on how everything was going? It had been well over a month and her mama hadn't even called to see how she was doing. Jasmine's birthday party had come and gone, and in the midst of being in a stable environment, somewhere she could enjoy just being for the first time in her life, joy eluded her in place of worry.

Shanelle would toss and turn, and toss and turn. It was a battle keeping her mind off of the unknown. Then finally, she'd drift.

Preoccupying herself to remain distracted, she worked twice as hard on her school work, helped around the house as much as possible, and participated in whatever she could with the youth at church. Shanelle didn't always understand what the sermons meant, but she knew how it made her feel. It was like she were a sponge and could soak up everything that felt right all at the same time. She felt safe.

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When the pastor preached Shanelle listened. While Jasmine doodled in her notebook, and Anna played with the fans behind the chairs, Shanelle would sit and hear what was being said. Occasionally, even Mr. Johnson seemed to zone out and doze, his head bobbing every now and then. But she... heard.

It intrigued her to learn that God was more than a being in the sky... That He was a Spirit, as well as human; The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. She couldn't wrap her mind around it! What did that even mean?

What fascinated her more was that this same God was so powerful and wanted to forgive her for all the things she stole and wipe the wrong away as if it never happened. Could it all simply be wiped away? Just that easily?

At times her heart hurt so bad, tugging at her from the inside, but she didn't exactly know why or how to articulate it. Sometimes, in the moments where she was all alone, that feeling would get so big that unable to bear it, she'd weep. Her spirit was broken: carrying a wound she couldn't see. The tears would pour, and her soul desperately cried out to heaven, wondering if Jesus would reach back.

Aside from attending church, Shanelle looked forward to Sundays, because it was a special day. June Johnson took her time in preparing dinner, the girls all helped cook something, and the family sat at the dining table together to share it. Chino Johnson would sometimes bring a board game they could play after eating, and sweet treats for the girls to try.

The previous week was the first time Shanelle could remember tasting corned beef and cabbage: the tender meat and greens made her feel as if she were right at home. June also made mac n' cheese and homemade butter rolls to go with it. Everything June cooked Shanelle knew was made with love. For that, she admired her. It wasn't just her food that was special; it was the way her meals brought the family together. They talked over the food, laughed over it, and sometimes argued. It was June who seemed to be the bridge when things got tense, using firm, controlled tones to speak, gracing her words with gentleness.

Shanelle wanted to be just like her. She had smooth, brown skin and hair the color of dark ginger. Standing 5'4 with a firm, curvy build, a slender necklace of silver or gold always crowned her neck. She dressed with class, kept her hair pulled back, and easily made money from home by either baking or tailoring. It was so different from what Shanelle was used to. All her Mama seemed to do was keep money out of the house, spending whatever came in on drugs and James. She just didn't care anymore. June, however, saw to the needs of her house and ran it like a successful company. There were no weak points; if they existed, they weren't visible to the naked eye.

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Shanelle heard June praying for them every morning before school, calling out each of their names. It was her who gave reminders to the members of the Johnson family throughout the day and week, bringing them back to the faith they shared. Her faith seemed to be her life.

Shanelle wasn't exactly sure what it was she believed, yet being in a place where she had any standard to uphold was a whole lot better than standing for nothing.

Chino was an amazing father. Oftentimes, Shanelle found herself convinced that she was a Johnson, with June as her mother, and Chino as her dad. He was a tall, powerfully built man with dark brown skin and a trimmed beard that clothed his face. His high cheekbones raised whenever he smiled, reminding Shanelle of Santa Claus.

Chino's voice was one that rattled the pits of stomachs with it's strong sound, one that could easily intimidate as well grasp attention.

It was clear to anyone who spent more than a few minutes with the Johnsons that Chino adored his family. He held them on his shoulders, the strength of the family, while June was the backbone. Whenever they were out in public, Shanelle burst with pride when they got compliments on being such a beautiful unit. In those moments, she didn't feel like just a guest, but a member.

More than anything, Shanelle adored how Chino treated June. He never yelled at her, and touched her with tenderness and care. Such wasn't the case in Shanelle's house.

He respected June's opinion, and often talked with her as one would a dear friend... They even held hands! It was strange... At least strange to Shanelle.

Jasmine and Anna were oblivious to their luck. It annoyed Shanelle when her best friend complained about things that were so small when there was so much more others had to worry about. She fussed about things that had little to no significance.

Who cared about the dress code during rally week? Who cared about who cared? Apparently, Jasmine did.

As of late, her dear friend seemed to be more of a nuisance than a companion. It wasn't anything intentional, but one couldn't control how they felt! Never had Shanelle paid attention to how bratty Jasmine could be. She talked constantly now of the "vision" she had and how God spoke to her. The crazy thing to Shanelle was the fact that everyone believed her! Why would Jesus only show Himself to her and no one else? It was bad enough Jasmine passed every test without having to try... Did she get a free pass to heaven as well? Shanelle spoke to God every day yet she heard nothing. God wasn't partial. And He didn't have favorites... right?

Besides, Jasmine threw tantrums when she didn't get what she wanted, was often difficult, and when the two disagreed it was typically her way or no way. God wouldn't use someone so childish.

A majority of the time, when these disagreements occurred, Shanelle ceded, letting her win whatever the power struggle was. What Shanelle couldn't ignore, however, was how her friend talked about Vanessa. Jasmine hated being told what to do, and when it came time for the family to participate in joint activities, she acted as if doing so were a chore. She had something Shanelle didn't: people who saw her. And for that, a silent wedge seemed to grow between them. Mrs. Johnson was boring to Jasmine, strict, square, traditional, and according to her, "overbearing".

To Shanelle, the words were treason. When Jasmine got to rambling and muttering under her breath, Shanelle left the room or preoccupied herself with other things. How could she say what she did about Mrs. Johnson? She was an amazing woman, wife, mother, friend, protector.... And she sacrificed for any and everyone. No one had any room to speak negative of her. Not even Jasmine.

Shanelle was beginning to realize just how different best friends could be... And how easy the tide could turn. At times, a wave of a strong dislike would fill Shanelle... How dared Jasmine? If only others had the privilege of belonging to parents who cared. Then, just as quickly as it came, it would leave. Jasmine didn't have to share her space with Shanelle, but she did. And for that, she deserved gratitude. Besides, she really was a good friend when she wasn't too concerned with herself.

When Vanessa initially told Jasmine about Michael being shot and the Matthews' store getting robbed, one would have thought a king had died. Being that no one knew if he were still alive, Jasmine took it upon herself to campaign and make poster boards for him. She printed his social media pictures, carried the boards to school, and stayed more updated than the police. How this could helped Michael, Shanelle had no idea, though she toted cardboard alongside her friend nonetheless.