Chapter 3 -pt 2

After a while, she started to overlook and ignore the names they called her at school, some of which were more humiliating than others.

Shanelle had stopped coming to her mom about issues she faced a long time ago. Vanessa had her own "problems" that started to accumulate. Aside from James' gambling, drug use, physical abuse and mismanagement with money, her mom had caught her own venture of stealing. At first it was so subtle, Shanelle didn't notice. That was until she saw strange things starting to happen. She'd come home and spot a new lamp stand, odd stainless steal appliances, or new name-brand coats... yet as quickly as they'd arrive, they'd be gone again; their home once again a deserted, unfurnished cave with the exception of their one brown couch.

Though it made her uneasy, Shanelle never commented on these events, being that she herself had grown accustomed to shoplifting when her or the girls were in need. She wasn't like her mom; Vanessa did it for drugs. She did it for need. At least that's what she told herself.

Closing her eyes, Shanelle willed herself to sleep. But oh, did her mind wander! Why did her brain insist on tormenting her with memories? Shanelle's stomach rumbled miserably.

Frustrated, she slapped her forehead with one of her hands. The events played as images on a television screen, changing from channel to channel. One in particular caught her attention.

Shanelle had come home from school to a house filled with cigarette smoke, the scent of alcohol, and a sour trail of urine wafting in the air. James lay far back and low on the couch, eyeing her as she quickly pressed through the room.

"Make sure them girls and that room cleaned up, or I'm comin' to show you how to do it myself." His deep voice hung as heavy as the stench in the air.

Pausing slightly before exiting into the hallway, Shanelle kept on with no response.

Opening her bedroom door, the full aroma hit her so strong she gasped while clenching her throat.

Honey and Mila were exchanging shoes as if clerks in a grocery store, their pull-ups so full they were tearing at the edges. Shrieking with joy at the sight of Shanelle, they ran to her with open arms. Repulsed, Shanelle kept them at arms length before they could reach her.

"Y'all stink... We clean up and get cleaned up, THEN you can hug me. Aight?"

Full of giggles, they nodded and bounced. Shanelle was positive they no longer had a sense of smell.

Having them strip the soiled clothing and pampers, she guided them to the bathroom. She'd already put containers of water underneath the cabinet for the next wash, having went yesterday to go fill them. Taking out a milk jug full of water, she wet the girls, used a sock as a washcloth, lathered them with the soap, and rinsed them sparingly.

Gasping and screaming in high pitched voices because of the cold chill of the water, one would have thought they were at a splash park.

Once they were as clean as Shanelle hoped they could be, they got out and air dried in the bathroom.

"While we here, go ahead and use the bathroom, cus y'all ain't getting no more water for the rest of the night."

Mila instantly started to groan. Shanelle could care less. "Go on Mila. When you done, Honey goes too. I'll be right back." Before walking out, Shanelle poured the remaining water in the back of the toilet so the girls could flush. They had no running water or electricity.

Upon closing the door, Shanelle was met by a cold stare and a swaying grown man. Gasping, she instinctively stepped back.

Avoiding his gaze, she stared at the carpet in awkward silence.

"You clean that room... Like I told ya."

Face burning with anger, Shanelle nodded, biting her tongue with all the strength she had until she tasted blood. He stayed put a few moments more before leaving her with a look that sent queeziness to her gut. Shanelle had become an expert at his facial expressions; she didn't want to know what this new one meant.

Shuddering, she quickly left the house to go to the backyard where the clothes hung. Removing everything that was dry, she folded as she took down, draping them all over her arm. It wasn't much, but it gave her some satisfaction to know that the job was done.

Scratching her wrist, she headed back into the house. Sitting the clothes in the hallway closet, Shanelle grabbed two t-shirts big enough to cover the girls from top to bottom.

"Did y'all use the bathroom like I told you?"

"Yes! But Mila didn't, she's fakin' it Nelle!"

Honey pointed her little finger accusingly. Eyes widening, Mila shook her head clearly guilty.

Shanelle placed one hand on her hip while holding the shirts. "Both of you gon' go. Try again Mila. Then Honey. This time, I stay right here."

After they used the bathroom and were dressed, Shanelle looked all over for cleaning products. They had no bleach, no air fresheners, no scrubbing brushes; they had nothing. How exactly did James expect her to clean? Vanessa wasn't home, and Shanelle wasn't going to ask him for help.

Sighing in frustration, she left the house again, running a distance of two blocks to get to Jasmine's. Sweat beading on the back of her neck, Shanelle scratched her arm vigorously after ringing the doorbell. Why was she so itchy?

Thankful when June opened the door, Shanelle politely asked for some cleaning products.

"Good to see you Shanelle. Depends... what you trying to clean?"

"Carpet... Sheets... And the room." She scratched her other wrist.

"Let me see if I have something. I'll be right back." June returned shortly, carrying carpet cleaner, a scrubbing brush, a small plastic bottle of liquid, another bottle with blue liquid, and a trash bag.

"This clear bottle has bleach; if you boil your sheets and add a drop of this blue washing soap, it should do the job. Open the bedroom windows and spray this carpet cleaner. Let it sit for 10 minutes, scrub with this here brush, and then dilute some more washing soap with warm water to scrub it up. I need to write anything down?" June raised her eyebrows.

"No ma'am, thank you very much." Shanelle turned away with the packages.

"You forgot something girl."

Turning around, Shanelle saw June holding a bag with to-go boxes in them. Food! Shanelle was so focused on cleaning she hadn't even thought about what they'd eat. Her heart warmed towards June. "Thank you Mrs. Johnson..."

"You're fine Shanelle! Go on and get going." Winking, June waved her off.

Feeling the tears, Shanelle took the bag, and jogged the rest of the way home. Going through the back door, she sat her packages in the hallway closet (that was her stashing place) and got to work in the room. Honey and Mila helped her put the thin sheets and soiled clothing in the soup pot, and all of the trash in the plastic trash bag. Doing as June instructed, Shanelle opened the windows to air out the room, swept and scrubbed the carpet, and boiled the linen with the remaining containers of water that were left. They had an electric burner Shanelle had managed to keep hidden beneath the mattress. It was the only way they could warm anything up. It operated on double A batteries.

Dumping the hot water outside when it was finished, Shanelle hung them on the clothing line to dry. The sun was getting lower as the day faded into late afternoon.

Hoping a warm breeze would blow to quicken the process, Shanelle passed time by taking the empty containers to the park to refill them. By the time she got back to the house, the sun had disappeared, it's aura casting maroon streaks into a clear pink sky.

Sighing wearily, Shanelle went back inside, checked on the girls, and put the containers back under the bathroom sink. Having no light other than the dimness of the sky and street lights, Shanelle bathed her sore limbs in the dark.

Replete with knowing she'd finished tasks that would give her relief for the next two days, Shanelle walked into the bedroom. Immediately, she could smell a significant difference. The scent of urine wasn't nearly as strong as it had been, and with the breeze coming in and out, she could almost overlook it altogether. The girls were slowly dozing.

"Mila... Honey...." Shaking them awake, Shanelle got them up. They still hadn't eaten. "Mrs. Johnson cooked y'all."

"We got food? Yay! Nelle got food!" Honey jumped up immediately. Rolling over, Mila stood up clumsily, still a sheepish toddler.

Going to the hallway closet, Shanelle reached around for the plates. Frowning, she began to dig frantically. Where was the food? Turning, she kneeled sternly in front of the girls. "Did either of ya'll touch those plates that were in here? Huh? They were in a white plastic bag."

Shaking their heads, Shanelle could see their innocence plainly, her gut dropping. Making her way to the front of the house, she found Vanessa asleep on the couch and James gone. She saw what was left of the plates laying on the arms of the couch. Both were open and ravaged, leaving only bones and gravy of what should have been pork chops, mashed potatoes and green peas. The aroma hung bitingly in the air of what could have been.

Hot tears flushed down Shanelle's face. Vanessa hadn't even come to the back to say hello.

Furious, Shanelle shook her mom awake.

"Ma... Ma!" She nearly screamed.

Opening her eyes, Vanessa frowned as she sat up. "What you yelling for girl?"

"Y'all ate the food Mrs. Johnson made for me and the girls... Y'all ain't even see if we ate before cleaning those plates..." Shanelle's emotions were so high, her voice shook and rose unsteadily with each syllable.

"James said June came by and gave everyone some food; I thought y'all ate, baby." Vanessa rubbed her forehead.

"You know he lies, mama! We ain't eat all day!"

" Lower your voice now girl. I can call and see if he'll bring somethin' back-"

"I don't want nothin' from that man. I don't want nothin' from you! Tell him to feed his own kids." Storming out of the room, Shanelle went outside, snatched down the sheets, and closed herself in the room. Spreading the sheet out over the carpet, she laid down beneath the others, not caring if parts of them were still damp.

She cried... She cried hard. She cried until she had no more tears left. Soon, she heard the door open and the girls come in. Curling up beside her, they pressed in close for warmth. Windows still open, the cool breezes caused cold shafts to flow through the room, making them bundle more closely together. Shanelle could hear their hungry stomachs rumble. It broke her heart. How could he? How could they be so selfish?

Shanelle found herself drifting to this memory in particular, finally falling asleep on the Johnson's couch, unaware of what the coming days would hold.