Lost

Inside, there's an ache

Rattling my core

Strength

Draining my mind

I looked up,

And no one was there

Orphaned, I was left behind

I could tell they didn't want me

I felt it in what they didn't say

It made me retreat behind a stone wall

Soon that wall grew

It spread four corners

And downward into a deep, black hall

I walked with death

That sadness expanded

Nowhere was home

Even when I was

Violence and rage

Engulfed my heart

It overwhelmed my thoughts

Just because

When things were good,

It didn't matter

The pain hurt so bad

No reason explained why

Tears

Behind a mask

Enough to fill the ocean

No one helped

They too, silently cried

No joy existed

A suffering of no words

Agony, awake while dying

Didn't belong to anyone

Didn't fit in anywhere

And when alone,

I couldn't

stop crying

In search, I fell deeper

Into the eternally black hall

Unaware of both the chaos

And the truth

I could see nothing else

But a tragedy ahead

How could speak?

What was I to do?

When suddenly I heard a voice

That broke me out of my haze

And I landed on what felt

Like soft ground

I saw that I was in a room

With

A teacher In a robe

His hair curly, to the shoulders, and brown

He spoke to the people

And, I leaned in to listen

Confused

As I stood there

I knew that he was teaching

He must have been a teacher

I just listened to His voice

Open and bare

When in the middle of talking

He turned towards me

And looked steadily into the depths of my eyes

What I noticed at first

Was how beautiful and full,

How piercingly bright and lovely His shined

Oh, how He stared...

As if He'd seen me before

And knew me closer

Than anyone else could

Instantly, I knew that if I needed

Anything at all

He'd give everything to me

He would

I don't know how to explain

But the second thing I noticed

Was my reaction

To the person unknown

When I looked into His eyes,

He knew me, it seemed

And I felt like I'd finally come home

I forgot about the pain

The weariness in my heart

The ache too, seemed to flutter away

This man oozed with love

Radiated with warmth

No other intention had I

But to stay

And then I knew

Just from a glance

That I was the only one on His mind

He loved me so

With a kindness that broke

The outer stone walls deep inside

All it took was a moment

For me to understand

That this teacher I could fully trust

And my mind realized,

Without anyone saying a word

That He was my Creator

Jesus.

It's like a mechanic

A very good one

Who knows his car

One he's built from the ground up

Somehow, It doesn't seem to matter

Who else has tried to fix the machine

It only responds properly

To One

Or that child

That infant

Who's come out of the womb

Comforted by many different voices

All it takes to quiet down

is the sound of One

For it to abandon all of those other choices

Like that, I knew

He, was the Potter

And I, naturally,

Were the clay

I forgot about family

Everything that mattered

All that was important was this

Day

Then, In the midst

Of eyes that drew

The teacher spoke...

Like read from a letter

He said

"You cannot

Do this alone

It only works

If we do it together "

Then I woke up

From a dream I didn't

Realize I'd been having

The entire time

I immediately understood that

The stories told were true

The ones that I'd heard all my life

It wasn't about who said them

Or how they lived

Because they knew not who they served

It was because the story

were truly alive, those words loving:

Him... the living Word.

And His words troubled me

They troubled me so

I couldn't get them out of my mind

Because all my life I did good to be good

Paying a price I couldn't pay

Else Jesus wouldn't have had to die

I was doing it alone

Carrying a burden that crushed

And pulled me down an eternity that was dark

Just a moment

Just a look

Just a gaze at the Teacher

I knew why living life for me was so hard

Because I was separated from the One

Who designed the car

That no one else... could fix

I was a child lost

Because I couldn't hear the voice

Of the One and only

Who created me

I had to receive the invitation

He graciously extended

If I wanted to live and do how

Always planned

It didn't matter who left

It didn't matter who didn't love

What changed my life were the

Actions and eyes

Of One Man.

-jAy